WELCOME TO GAY MEN’S HEALTH
SCOTLAND’S CHARITY FOR GAY MEN
BOUNDARIES
Let’s start by stating the obvious: just because something is OK for other people doesn’t mean it has to be OK for you. As my mother used to say, “If they all jump of a cliff, does that mean you have to?”
So, how do you say no to things you don’t want? Whether it is sex, or someone trying to get you to go out for the night when you can’t be bothered, saying no isn’t always easy. Try figuring out what makes it difficult for you to say no to things you don’t want – do you worry that they’ll never speak to you again? That they’ll hate you? That they’ll never ask again? If so, maybe you need to find yourself some new friends.
Being ‘at home with yourself’ is a very attractive quality, and it means being comfortable to stand by what feels right or wrong for you, no matter what other people think. You are an individual, not a robot. That means you are not the same as everyone else – you like the things you like and you have the right to say no to the things you don’t. It’s not always easy to say no when we know other people want us to say or do something, but who are we living our lives for: us or them?
If saying no is a real problem in your life then you could start by practising with things that feel easier, before moving up to the big ones like, “This soup is cold, can you take it back”? Or you could think about counselling, or an assertiveness class.
Find Us:
