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Love, Sex and Relationships
sexual health pages
Expressing your sexuality is a good, healthy and positive part of most people’s lives. This leaflet is not intended to be a guide, but just to get you thinking about your sexuality and how you see love, sex and relationships fitting into your life.
Sexual attraction, lust, love and every emotion
in between can be experienced by everyone, whether homo, bi or heterosexual,
and these feelings are
equally real and valid whether you are gay, bisexual or straight.
People have sex for all sorts of reasons, the most obvious being that you are horny, turned on, revved up (or whatever words you use) ...
A lot of people, particularly when they have just come out as gay do have a lot of sex simply because they realise that they can, and it feels good for them. This enthusiasm can last for weeks to years, or even the rest of your life!
Another obvious reason that guys have sex is to express the love they feel for their partner, strengthening the emotional bond between them.
Less obvious, but still true, you might have sex to boost your ego - if someone fancies you then you can feel better about yourself. It can be great when it works but when it doesn’t you can end up feeling worse than when you started.
Sometimes people have sex because they want affection but put up with the sex part because they can’t ask for affection - just the kissing and hugging part.
It isn’t unknown for people to have sex with guys just to make friends, not realising that you can make friends without sex if you want to. A network of friends is particularly helpful if you are a gay or bisexual man. Because we live in a society with few role models, it’s useful to talk to friends to see what they are doing, and how their sex and/or love lives are progressing.
Relationships and love
Gay and bisexual men are like everyone else, and many people want the
prince, the castle and all the trimmings (although he may actually
be a carpet fitter in Crosshill or a doctor from Dumbarton). It may
seem stupid to write down the obvious, but the love gay or bisexual
men feel is the same emotion that the rest of the population feel,
and we all deserve the same happiness in a relationship. Gay relationships,
like straight ones, need to be worked at, and problems talked through,
but the benefits can be enormous.
Gay Men’s Health
Lothian Gay and Lesbian Switchboard
Couple Counselling Lothian
Images courtesy of the Steve Retson Project
Last updated 20th May 2004
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