WELCOME TO GAY MEN’S HEALTH
SCOTLAND’S CHARITY FOR GAY MEN
PROBLEMS
Sometimes even the best things can go wrong. There can be many reasons why sometimes sex just doesn’t go right. The chemistry between the two of you can just not be there and perhaps the sex isn’t all that you’d hoped it would be.
Sometimes we just can’t be bothered and sometimes we might be so into it we might just do things that later we regret a little.
If things aren’t working for you it can sometimes feel like you are the only one in the world who’s having that problem.
It’s natural to feel that way, but it’s not true. Most of us will experience some problems, sometimes very minor, in our lives. We thought we’d help by giving you the low down on some of the most common problems.
Problems getting an erection.
Bit of a bloody nightmare when it does happen but I’d put money on it that it’s happened to most of us at sometime or another.
Mostly it will be short term and cause by some external factor – too much alcohol or too many drugs, even cigarette smoking has an effect on your circulation and can affect your hard-on.
Or it could be as simple as being a little nervous…it has happened to us all.
If the problem is a little more long term you should have a chat with your GP. They will be able to help. For most men the problem isn’t physical but can be physiological. Something as simple as stress could be a factor.
Chances are that if you wake up in the morning with a hard-on the problem is psychological. Either way you can get help from your GP or one of the organisations mentioned later in this booklet.
Regardless of reasons there are drugs now such as Viagra and Cialis which can help with the problems of no stiffy.
These are prescribed drugs and usually given when there is a physical problem. Chances are that you have also come across Viagra for sale in the pub or on the internet.
Many men, even those with no erectile problems are using these to improve their sexual pleasure. It goes without saying that nothing is risk free and use of Viagra can cause headaches, indigestion and be down right dangerous for people with high blood pressure or when used with poppers.
Problems with cumming
Basically this problem falls into two areas. “premature ejaculation” (when you cum too soon) and “retarded ejaculation” (when you take ages to cum).
There are specific techniques, which can help with both of these problems, and a chat with a psychosexual therapist is a good place to start. (You might like to try Relationships Scotland for this.)
Problems with desire
Sexual Avoidance is when you are scared or nervous about sex for a long time or you avoid sex because of discomfort. Sometimes this can be caused by bad previous experiences of sex.
Sexual Compulsion is when you can’t stop having sex and regularly find yourself in situations you regret later.
It’s really important to remember that all of us go through phases of feeling more sexual than normal, or not feeling very sexual.
It is only if this becomes a repeating pattern and you feel unhappy about it that you should think about talking with a professional about this.
Who can help?
Counselling for individuals and couples. Includes individual and relationship therapy, and some work with sexual problems. Specialists in working with men, who have been raped, sexually assaulted or abused.
Relationship counselling. Individual and relationship therapy for sexual problems. You don’t have to be in a regular relationship to use this service. Ask for information on your local service. Psychosexual therapy is available.
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